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Why should we slow down when we communicate?

In Relationship Development Intervention (RDI), one of the first steps to this program is to guide and support parents in adopting an RDI lifestyle for themselves and their neurodiverse children. The question is, what is an RDI lifestyle? 

 

An RDI lifestyle is how you regulate and pace your daily life, which also means how you slowdown amid chaos. When your child is throwing a tantrum or fail to give you the responses you want, are you able to keep calm and stay in control? In situations like this, how can you guide your child to remain engaged and co-regulate with you? With proper guidance and coaching, RDI aims to strengthen your relationship with your children through a positive change in your lifestyles. 

 

Hence, slowing down is one of the most important goals in RDI. Here’s why.

When you slow down, you allow yourself to calm down and stay regulated. Imagine your child is throwing a tantrum, and you’re yelling at him. Will both of you be able to think straight and be rational in this state of mind? The answer is no. If you’re angry, your child will get angrier. But if you’re calm and collected, your child will feel it and will be able to regulate himself better through you.  

When you slow down, you are more mindful in your speech and actions. The last thing our child needs is us being dysregulated and not keeping our cool. We are children’s role models, and we should always model calmness and mindfulness to them

When you slow down, you give children enough time and space to think, analyse and respond. Children’s brain is not fully mature until age 25, and especially in young kids, they will need more time to think, troubleshoot, and problem solve. If we are always rushing and nagging, we do not give their brains enough time to process and respond. 

When you slow down, you and child can engage and co-regulate better. And because of that, both of you get to enjoy each other’s presence more, creating a meaningful and enjoyable memory together. 

Slowing down may sound easy, but it takes conscious effort to make it happen. Hence, in RDI, we encourage parents to reflect on their daily routines and learn to slow their pace down in this busy world. Because of your parenting and communication style with children reflects very much on your lifestyle. That’s why RDI is a program specially curated for parents – to help and support you throughout this parenting journey. With the guidance of an RDI consultant, you will learn the step-by-step in slowing down and how to build a positive relationship with your child.